June 26 Weekend Of Whit's Wedding

So a lot has happened in the past month and I am sorry I have neglected to write about it but I have been exhausted from writing all day at work and driving 40 minutes each way in that god for saken thing called traffic.

Anyways I will try and catch you up to the best of my memory.

Please note: many of the weekends I am going to speak about involved some sort of alcohol and so I may not remember every detail.

Another note: Grandma and Mama no I am not an alcoholic I only write about funny and fun things in my blog which just so happen to involve alcohol.

The weekend of June 26 was my best friend Whitney's wedding and if you know anything about the Holum family you knew it was going to be a blast.

On Friday night we had the rehearsal at her house and rehearsal dinner shortly thereafter at Marechiaro's -- where I used to work for about two weeks.

Upon getting to Whit's house around 5:00 pm I was happily greeted by the groom-to-be who was carrying an 18 pack of Coors Light. I don't know who I was more happy to see, him or the wonderful thing that is beer. So being the nice gal I am I gladly helped him out by lightening the load he was carrying and grabbing an ice cold beverage. There is nothing better than an ice cold beer after a long day of work -- or rather a long day of pretending like I am working whenever my boss pops in.

I mingled with everyone and about three beers and one shot of Patron in we were about to begin the rehearsal. All the girls gathered in the Holum house and I don't know who suggested it -- seeing that most of the bridesmaids have the same fondness of alcohol that I have -- but before I knew it Patron was being put in shot glasses for eight girls and the father of the bride-to-be.

We cheered and took it down like champs. All of a sudden the mother of the bride-to-be charged in downed a shot and ran back out to take part in her part of the rehearsal. Classic.

After the rehearsal was over I proceeded to take another shot but this time with a few of the groomsmen and the night began.

I caught a ride to Marechiaro's with some friends and got seated. Luckily for me the Champagne bottle was directly in front of my seat but unfortunately for me I sat next to the grooms brother who proceeded to hit on me the whole night with such phrases as:

"Do you want to stay local tonight?"

"My brother and your best friend are getting married let's celebrate the two of us tonight."

And so on.....

I'll have a double now please. Now.

I drank at an unreasonably rate after I was stuck next to the drunken brother who tried to get fresh with me by periodically stroking my arm to which I swatted off.

My sole effort that night was to try and avoid any awkwardness but of course I always attract the very best of men and by best of men I mean 32-year-old men who have children, comb their hair over and turn bright red and sweaty when they drink.

I ducked out and went back home.

The next day was the wedding.

I woke up picked up my dress, got my nails done and drove down to Whit's house to get ready.

Upon arriving there I went to her neigbors house where all the girls were getting ready and I don't know if they knew I was coming but there where three bottles of patron, limes already cut and everything.

Dear Jesus,

I love you.

Love Brittany

I took two shots with Whit before I even got my hair done and had a couple of cocktails. I was feeling pretty good and I'm sure all of the other bridesmaids were too.

The whole day leading up to the wedding was amazing. Cocktails, laughs and cries were aplenty. Whitney's hair looked amazing and she was beautiful.

As the guests arrived all the girls huddled into the Holum house to prepare to walk down the aisle outside. The Patron kept flowing and I believe we all took about three more shots with the father of the bride before even walking out. It sounded like girls gone wild in the house as we screamed everytime we took a shot.

Please note: We are only products of where our parents raised us.... good 'ol east county.

The ceremony began and I couldn't stop crying Whitney looked so pretty and her husband Alex looked hansome. The ceremony was perfect with its fair share of laughs and cries. And in the blink of an eye it was over and Whitney Holum was now Whitney Benjamin.

And so the reception began.

I don't remember how much I drank but I looked like I was having fun in all the pictures that surfaced the next week or so. We danced, drank and drank some more. My mom even got involved in the drinking aspect of the night.

The following things may or may not have happened during the wedding:

The best man sleeping with the mexican maid in the bushes.

The mexican maid falsely accusing me of throwing up in Whitney's bathroom.

Me freaking with the father-of-the-bride.

Me talking to people I have not seen in years and having no idea what I said to them.

One of the bridesmaids falling off a swing.

The groom asking me to not let Whitney drink that much because he wants her to be able to make it down the aisle.

The bride needing to take a poop before she went down the aisle only to realize it was a false alarm.

It was seriously the best wedding ever, I wouldn't have changed a thing and I'm sure Whitney feels the same. This one is for the record books.