The Start of My Day with Melissa

As I was driving down the freeway at 8:30 a.m., cutting in and out of traffic as to try and get one step ahead of my fellow commuters, I decided to call my friend Melissa.

Now at times Melissa and I try to torture one another. Among other torture techniques we engage in in order to annoy the other person one I fancy the most is the late night calls I make to her, when I know she is sleeping, in hopes of waking her up and ruining her peaceful sleep.

Kindly Melissa will return the favor the next morning sometimes at 6 or 7 a.m. when she awakes for the day when I am engaging in some one on one time with my bed and pillow. Abruptly I will be awakened from the horrific sound, that is Melissa's ring tone, as she proceeds to call me 6, 7 sometimes 10 times in a row to ensure that I wake up and can't fall right back to sleep.

I mean after all what are friends for?

So back to today. As I was driving down the freeway already pissed off because I had to be up early to go to work just to be stuck in traffic for 40 minutes while driving to La Jolla which should in fact only take me 20 I decided to call Melissa.

To my utter dissapointment Melissa was up and happily answered the phone.
Note to self: Operation piss Melissa off in the morning failed.
She told me she too was on her way to La Jolla and was only a mile or two ahead of me. Thrilled at the mere idea that she too had prior engagements which forced her out of bed before 7:30 a.m. I jumped at the chance to see what she looked like at this time of the morning as previously I had only seen her up at this hour after nights of heavy drinking that lasted into the day.

So after almost getting in numerous accidents and making Melissa hold up traffic by slowing down so we could drive side by side, we met on a two lane freeway driving next to one another.

Our conversation went some thing like this:

Melissa: Hey
Brittany: Hey I can see you
Melissa: Yeah I look like shit
Brittany: Yeah you do
Melissa: Let's get coffee
Brittany: I can't I have to go to work and I don't want to be late
Melissa: Come on Brittany we never see one another
Brittany: Ok fine but in my building
Melissa: Fine but you're paying for my parking
Brittany: Whatever
Melissa: Shit are there any hot lawyers in your building cause I look like shit
Brittany: Yeah you do but I look cute
Melissa: F**K you
Brittany: I hate you

So we get to the coffee place and get our respective freshly brewed drinks and our conversation is amazing. And by amazing I mean ridiculous.
But I always wonder how the two of us must look to outsiders when we talk to one another.
Either A. they think we are neurotic
B. we look like lovers in a quarrel
C. they think we are retarded or
D. all of the above.

Brittany: So I think I'm addicted to pills I take at least four advil a day
Melissa: At least you admit you have a problem
Brittany: Yeah that's true
Melissa: So I wanted to smoke the other day
Brittany: Why didn't you
Melissa: I didn't want to
Brittany: Oh cool

We talked about other things and no matter what we talk about we laugh, mostly at ourselves, and our conversations always end with a cheerful goodbye. I believe it is something to the extent of

Melissa: Bye Bitch
Brittany: Yeah Bye Hook

So after that was over I went to work and started dozing off. My coffee kicked in around 9:30 a.m. and I felt recharged and energized but unfortunately the novelty soon wore off. During the day I consumed two large black coffee's, around 10 diet pepsi's and I still crashed around 11:00 a.m, 1:00 p.m., 3:00 p.m. I felt like I was being thrust head first into a wall. Driving home I was a zombie as yet again I was stuck in more traffic at 5:30 p.m.

This day got me thinking....

Whoever created a 9-5 work day should be shot. If I were in charge it would go something like this - start work at 11 a.m. lunch at 12 p.m. work until 2 p.m. break for tea time and then be done around 3 p.m., leaving just enough time to go home clean up to go out for happy hour - I think tomorrow I'll put that in the suggestion box.