A Long Time Coming

All of my blog fans (aka my Grandma) have been asking me why I have not been writing blogs that much recently, and besides the obvious reasoning that my prescription for vicodin ran out - which to any sane person would make them sleepy but of course has the opposite effect on me, an effect I can only relate to what crack does to a person....or so I've heard - and so other than that I don't really have a good answer. Oh wait maybe it's because my life for the past two weeks has been extremely boring and consists of working, sleeping, eating, working....oh yeah and working.

Let me break it down for you right quick.

On an average day I wake up around 8:15 a.m. - I should be waking up at 7:30 but of course my alarm clock always tries to ruin my life by allowing me to hit the snooze button at least ten times (whoever decided that button was a good idea was wrong).

I then proceed to get ready for work.

This routine consists of rolling around in bed for a good 15 minutes contemplating suicide or calling in sick to a job I have held for a whole two weeks while being licked and jumped on by Charlie and Stella. (And no I am not in a threesome bisexual relationship I have two dogs).

I then get out of bed and take them outside to allow them to relieve themselves and have an ice cold ciggarette. I come back inside wash my face, eat breakfast and on a good day brush my teeth.

Realizing it's now 8:45 a.m. and I should be at work by nine I rush to throw together a business-like outfit, straighten my hair and put on some makeup - which usually ends up looking like I put it on while intoxicated. For those of you who know me the outfit has to be the most difficult part for me as a UCLA t-shirt and comfy shorts have become my uniform.

I hop in the car just to sit in traffic and make it to work by 9:30 and start on my first cup of coffee. After sitting around for a good 15 minutes in my chair dreaming of the days when "summer" meant not having to do anything sober, I check my e-mail, go on pandora to put on some music and then see what I have to do for the day. And then I work writing all day.

Please note: For the sake of myself, my co-workers and for security purposes I will not indulge in writing what else I do at work. If you would like to know I will tell you in conversation without recording devices present.

P.S. Michael Pines (my boss) if you are reading this I love my job.

I get off around 5:30-6:00 p.m. and rush out the door just to sit in, you guessed it, more traffic putting me at home around 6:30 p.m. I get home throw on my uniform (UCLA t-shirt and boxers) and play with Michael. After being exhausted from the days work I get calls from my friends asking me to go out to this bar or club only to turn them down because I want to get in a good nights sleep.

Depressing. Good thing I'm on medication.

Throughout the day Melissa and I talk about 20 times: As I stated in a previous blog Melissa and my relationship is "special". We are the sisters we both never wanted, best friends and way too much alike which in any relationship; friend, foe or lovers, is never is a good thing.

Again as I said in a prior post to anyone on the outside looking in we look like we are in a relationship: a bipolar, dysfunctional, want to kill myself relationship. If I don't answer her phone call Melissa will presume to call me ten times in a row because she knows I always have my phone with me and if she can annoy me enough I will answer.

Today:

Melissa: What are you doing

Brittany: I'm at work what the hell do you think I'm doing
Melissa: Oh when are you going to take a break

Brittany: I don't know

Melissa: Let's get lunch

Brittany: Ok when

Melissa: I don't know

Brittany: Ok we made a lot of progress out of this conversation. I got to go bye.

Five minutes later:

Melissa: What are you doing

Brittany: Working

Melissa: Still?

Brittany: Stupid bitch it's only 11:00 a.m. you know I work until 5:30

Melissa: Oh. When are we going to get lunch?

Brittany: I don't think I can today how about tomorrow

Melissa: What the F*** Brittany you said we would and now I made plans with you and I could of gone with someone else and not been waiting on you

Brittany: Melissa I can't today alright

Melissa: Whatever screw you bye

Five minutes later:

Melissa: Hey what's up

Brittany: Nothing what are you doing

Melissa: Nothing

Brittany: Cool

Melissa: Yeah

Brittany: Yeah

Etc. Etc. Etc.

And so in conclusion I will try to write more blogs but as you can see my non-eventful life is hindering my creativity.

In other news the Padres lost again today. Is it football season already? At least the Lakers are in the finals.